“If you have just finished reading the previous chapter and asking “which way forward?”
Well this is it.
We must always let the end birth, cradle, and suckle the beginning in every undertaking. Indeed the end is the beginning, and the beginning is the end. Without the end having been well thought out and nursed mentally from infancy to adult, the undertaking grows into an adult dressed in a shambolic apparel.
The proverbial “ill wind that blows no one any good”
This apply especially to interpersonal communication.
It is the mature personal deliberation with the Goodwill and maximum productivity in sight as an end, even from the beginning, that protects conversation from turning farcical and a breeding ground for detours of name calling, personal vindictive, use of invective, and expletives.
The end determines the means.
Where there is a patiently and maturely thought out goal of improvement to achieve, then like a chef one carefully picks his ingredients, one of which is unpretentious facts for his cooking in the kitchen of conversation. Words are carefully selected like spices, for indeed every preparation requires it’s own set of spices, in a specific quantity. Tone of voice must be carefully chosen in its decibel, inflection, and animation, considering it like the fire which must be set at the appropriate level to prevent the cooking from being charred or undercooked, etc.
Sarcasm is like seasoning that are useful requirement, but which must be sparsely, yet adequately used.
You have been told about large percentage of conversation being deciphered by the body language. But I tell you that this is a misleading concept. Simply for the fact that though this may be an apparently useful tool in criminal investigation and the likes. But interpersonal communication with goodwill as the end is not about indictment, though facts may be vigorously pursued and presented.
Other consideration is that people do have synchronised and unsynchronised gesticulation in their speech habit. This being the reason why there is a systemic training on the subject of synchronising your gesticulating with your speech.
The body language watch also distract from concentrating on the subject and language, which then turns on only the mentality of concentrating on interpretation of the body movement of the speaker.
It rubs you of spontaneity.
The sincere mutual agreement on the end to be achieved through the conversation, and the unilaterally shared trust that this is upheld by everyone is the panacea. “
EXCERPT: SERMON OF THE SHEPHERD
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