the word SILENT and LISTEN has the same LETTERS in equal number.
That is not a coincidence. It simply means to LISTEN you have to be SILENT. Here, that may sound redundant as i hear you say “well, two people don’t talk to each other concurrently. one of them has got to be silent”.
The good news is that you are right.
The bad news however is that like we all do, while the interpersonal dialogue is going on, we mostly are engaged in intrapersonal monologue, or busy scripting our reply to a statement that’s not yet been finished. So much so that when we do respond, our response lacks depth. It is a product of raw emotion, not refined, lacks finesse, lacks spontaneity, it is a scripted response to a truncated message.
Then you might say “but isn’t that natural? That we listen to respond? Isn’t it called a CON versation?”. Again you’re right.
But here I say listen as a reflection!
Reflection being the primary goal of your listening and your response as a secondary. It might serve your purpose better by even sharing your reflection with the person in conversation, confirming from them that you clearly understood what was said.
Try as much as possible to respond only after the other person has acknowledged you understood what they say, the way they meant it.
This practice enhances a deep empathic conversation and act as an antidote to the poisonous effect of synthetic listening where you only heard but have not listened.
THE HEART REFLECTS ONLY WHEN IT IS QUIET!
Therefore what i say to everyone i say to you WATCH: be SILENT to LISTEN.
excerpt from SERMON OF THE SHEPHERD.
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